Last night I was Skyping with my Bubbie Sheila and per usual she said I looked like a teenager. I hear this a lot. For example, I hear it every time I Skype with my Bubbie, and my dad has started up a new trend of teasing me that I’m acting like a teenager. As you can imagine, this is not really making me feel very good. Part of me wants to prove that I’m not a teenager and the other part wants to be one. So I’m torn, and this blog post is about that.
I head to the living room, computer in hand, while I’m babysitting my little brother Avi. I turn on My Little Pony for him. I sit down beside him and warn him that he will only get to watch two episodes ‘cause I want to read to him. I settle down and grab my book, and then suddenly I’m engulfed in thought. “What am I?” I think. My bubbie acts like I’m a teenager. My mom says I’m in between, but when my bubbie asked her what size of clothes to get me, she said, “extra-small women.” And my dad sometimes teases me about it and sometimes doesn’t. But I still don’t know what he thinks.
But the real question is, what do I think I am? Because really it seems like it is my choice. I could qualify as a teenager: I have mood swings and other symptoms of a teenager. Or I could be a tween: that’s like in the middle of a kid and teenager. I think because I’m twelve it’s a little late to be called a kid since next year I will really be a teenager, but I could be a mix of both. So what am I? If I choose to be a teenager what does that mean? What does being a teenager mean? I’m stuck between two answers.
- One: being a teenager means growing up and making friends who will change my life and learning what it’s like to be a grown-up and starting to decide what I want to do with my life and having experiences that I will never forget.
- Two: being a teenager means a period of time where I act like a total jerk and get in lots of stupid fights with my parents and I’m really mean to my siblings. When I make lots of friends but they are really mean to me or I’m mean to them. When I test the lines of appropriate clothing and dress in a totally disgusting style.
I really hope being a teenager means being the former. I guess it is kind of different and mixed for each kid.
I open my eyes. I realize I have been thinking about this for a whole episode of Avi’s TV show. I check the time. I turn to him. “Avi, one more episode and then I’ll get you ready for bed. Understand?” Without taking his eyes off of the screen, he nods. I smile and decide to watch the show with him. I’ll think about these questions later. For now, Twilight Sparkle need to learn how to make friends.
One of the most important tasks of moving from childhood to adulthood is this kind of reflection and self-inquiry Eva. I’d say you’re already on the road to becoming the kind of woman I think we need more of in this world. Vara. xoxo
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Loved reading this and seeing reflection that is so mature for someone your age Eva! I have a feeling if you keep reflecting, you will be who you want to be; who you are!
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