The Twilight of My Youth, by Eva

Last night I was Skyping with my Bubbie Sheila and per usual she said I looked like a teenager. I hear this a lot. For example, I hear it every time I Skype with my Bubbie, and my dad has started up a new trend of teasing me that I’m acting like a teenager. As you can imagine, this is not really making me feel very good. Part of me wants to prove that I’m not a teenager and the other part wants to be one. So I’m torn, and this blog post is about that.

I head to the living room, computer in hand, while I’m babysitting my little brother Avi. I turn on My Little Pony for him. I sit down beside him and warn him that he will only get to watch two episodes ‘cause I want to read to him. I settle down and grab my book, and then suddenly I’m engulfed in thought. “What am I?” I think. My bubbie acts like I’m a teenager. My mom says I’m in between, but when my bubbie asked her what size of clothes to get me, she said, “extra-small women.” And my dad sometimes teases me about it and sometimes doesn’t. But I still don’t know what he thinks.

But the real question is, what do I think I am? Because really it seems like it is my choice. I could qualify as a teenager: I have mood swings and other symptoms of a teenager. Or I could be a tween: that’s like in the middle of a kid and teenager. I think because I’m twelve it’s a little late to be called a kid since next year I will really be a teenager, but I could be a mix of both. So what am I? If I choose to be a teenager what does that mean? What does being a teenager mean? I’m stuck between two answers.

  • One: being a teenager means growing up and making friends who will change my life and learning what it’s like to be a grown-up and starting to decide what I want to do with my life and having experiences that I will never forget.
  • Two: being a teenager means a period of time where I act like a total jerk and get in lots of stupid fights with my parents and I’m really mean to my siblings. When I make lots of friends but they are really mean to me or I’m mean to them. When I test the lines of appropriate clothing and dress in a totally disgusting style.

I really hope being a teenager means being the former. I guess it is kind of different and mixed for each kid.

I open my eyes. I realize I have been thinking about this for a whole episode of Avi’s TV show. I check the time. I turn to him. “Avi, one more episode and then I’ll get you ready for bed. Understand?” Without taking his eyes off of the screen, he nods. I smile and decide to watch the show with him. I’ll think about these questions later. For now, Twilight Sparkle need to learn how to make friends.

 

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. One of the most important tasks of moving from childhood to adulthood is this kind of reflection and self-inquiry Eva. I’d say you’re already on the road to becoming the kind of woman I think we need more of in this world. Vara. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  2. rebeccajane1976 says:

    Loved reading this and seeing reflection that is so mature for someone your age Eva! I have a feeling if you keep reflecting, you will be who you want to be; who you are!

    Liked by 1 person

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